The Tooting Dragos - The Harsh Reality of Fantasy Baseball

• 22nd Apr 2009 at 11:32:16 BST by Jacques Claw

The first week of the season has passed. How have the Dragos started off their Fantasy season?

With a week of the new baseball season done and dusted I should be telling you about just how fantastically well my fantasy baseball team, the Tooting Dragos, have been doing. Things haven't worked out exactly as planned.

My superstar 1st baseman Mark Teixeira has been nursing a dubious wrist injury and has woefully underperformed and my stud pitcher Brandon Webb has been put on the 15 day disabled list. Needless to say my assortment of up and comers, has beens and general underachievers haven't filled the gap and I was royally spanked by the Flair Bear Bunch last week. Not an auspicious start to the year. Still it's a better start than the idiots at Channel Five have made.

...Yes, Channel Five, the home of endless repeats of CSI (it's always the 2nd person interviewed who did it), documentaries about the world's fattest men and until this year the home of baseball on TV. Now the only saving grace of their pitiful schedule has gone.

No more Johnny Gould, Mike 'isn't he tall' Carlson, JC, Erik and Co. And how sad it is to see them go. Yes the shows were amateurish and a bit rough round the edges but that's what gave them their charm. Watching Johnny talk lovingly about Chipper Jones, Davy Lengel moan about another Mets disaster or Erik talk about the best hot dogs in America on one of the Spring road trips was a delight.

In an era of po faced broadcasters the Five boys trod the perfect line between being informative and entertaining. NASN may show more games and be a bit more polished but it's just not the same as being part of the gang who watched on 5 (for those feeling nostalgic, here's a memory of the show's theme tune). Thanks guys, you'll be missed.

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And while we're on the subject of bumbling amateurs....

Before the days of 5 substitutes there was always the chance of a football match being livened up by an injury to a goalkeeper and an outfield player taking over in nets. The baseball equivalent happened this week during the Yankees 15-5 drubbing by Tampa Bay this week. Surely the biggest, richest club in the Major Leagues would have enough pitching strength in their bullpen to see them through 9 innings. Mmm not quite. So take a bow outfielder Nick Swisher who pitched a scoreless inning against the Rays. If even the most famous team in the world can cock up so royally there's hope for the rest of us.